Great Way to Go

Half-a-Grand Flash Fiction Contest Entry: Zombie Apocalypse + Office Romance

It was as if the moon cracked in half, its cursed yolk oozing down upon the earth to wake the dead.

Just as candy corn hit the shelves and leaves began to fall, corpses began to rise.

A colossal skyscraper is where I put in my nine to five, cleaning from top to bottom as a head honcha rules from its tip like a Prada queen.

And yes, like any warm-blooded being, I've found myself occasionally wondering what’d it be like to tap that fancy fanny.

Just as October creeped in, apparently so did destiny.

4:55 PM

I was near one of the elevators in the lobby changing out a trash liner when I heard screaming.

Looked up to see Ms. Fancy charging full steam ahead, spiked heels in hands, a number of souls pouring into the lobby from behind her.

Not until I caught sight of their faces did I realize they were actually soul less, eyes ravenous, skin grotesquely decomposed.

Surreal.

Best way I could describe it, all those fancy-pants in the atrium instantly being brought down to the bare bones of being human, that natural instinct cleaving away etiquette in one fell shuck

Like a factory of doom, those rotating doors just kept churning out the undead, the lobby now like a meat market as rigid fingers and hands clamped down onto warm flesh before insatiable mouths gorged.

Just as Ms. Fancy reached me so did one of the zombies, my good ol’ broom keeping him at bay long enough to get inside the elevatorand start pounding floor numbers.

“What the hell is going on?!” I asked, decorum now out the door as we ascended.

“Don't know,” was all she could manage, over and over, again and again.

Reaching her home turf, she shot out of the elevator and into her office, me not that far behind.

I caught up just as she moved a bookshelf like it was a door, disappearing behind it and trying hard to get it closed again.

"Hey, hey,” my hand blocking her secret entrance from shutting me out. “I just saved your ass. You ain't leavin’ me out here with these things.”

Now more irritated than horrified, rich bitch stepped to the side to let me in.

It was a panic room of sorts, Four Seasons style.

She secured the door, and that's when I saw a bite mark on her hand.

Looking at me looking at her, she knew what I knew.

We were both fucked.

So why not…

Nature indeed took over, using our last bite of humanity to go at each other with animalistic passion, conversing over caviar and champagne during refueling before getting back to our sexathon.

11:55 PM

Amongst the thrusts and sucks, a new hunger began to take shape, nibbles on nipples becoming chomps, carnalistic becoming cannibalistic.

With the last moments of human lucidity came mutual orgasm, before utter zambification was all that remained.

Great way to go.