HEATHER
She Ghosted the Wrong Guy. A Tale of Online Dating Gone Horribly Wrong.
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I
Scroll drunk.
This is what Rich felt after endless hours of thumbing through dating bios, a sea of potential romance quickly becoming a cesspool of pick-me-girls.
He couldn't swipe left fast enough whenever he saw profile pics that screamed, 'I'm thirsty. Give me your undivided attention.'
Wearing makeup like spackle. Clothes like a prostitute. Filters like a fucking AI queen.
And then there were the time warpers. Those who put up a younger version of themselves as their primary photo, only to show you as you scroll down how much older and rounder they've become.
As addictive as this suck scroll was Rich was about to throw in the towel, but before his thumb could catch up to his brain his digit for digital led him to Heather.
Her eyes met his, absorbing him in despite being made up of pixels.
Her lips causing him to physically react, an impulsive swipe of the tongue upon his own.
A rose in a field of weeds.
Hell, a geyser in a barren land which hasn't seen water in one thousand millennia.
Rich slowed his scroll to snail speed so as not to miss a single word.
Her words.
Describing herself.
Describing her ideal match.
Describing their future together.
With a sense of completion, Rich tapped the heart icon on Heather's profile.
II
Rich didn't know if it was the overpriced digital rose he had sent her, his profile pic, or his descriptive bio. Whatever it was that had lured Heather in and caused her to reciprocate the heart was now responsible for Rich soaring high on cloud 9.
Those damn digital roses came in a minimum of a five pack, the money-sucking dating app getting another $15 out of him.
But hell, if they worked, he was ready to finance a whole garden of 'em.
Now that he had the interest established, Rich needed to compose the all-important first message.
Laying it on too thick and he might scare her away. Not saying enough, and she might lose interest.
Damn these fucking games of courtship.
Dear Heather,
It's nice to see our aligned stars led to our paths crossing, despite the infinite vastness of this thing we call cyberspace.
My day was pretty good. Productive. Fun. And nice weather to top it off.
Hope yours was even better.
~Rich
III
Rich,
I had a great day. Thank you for the kind words.
I have to ask, are you a poet?
You seem to be artful in the way you write, and I like it.
IV
Rich fell asleep with thoughts of Heather cushioning his mind, having spent his last five minutes of screen time gazing over her profile pics, his favorite of which had her hair pinned high, a few twirling strands flowing down on either side of her face, like ribbons to the gift he saw her as.
An image that now served as his phone's wallpaper.
V
New profiles.
New Likes.
New messages.
These new notifications had zero appeal to Rich, his heart, his mind, now fixated on Heather.
And the vibe she was giving back felt just as strong.
This first week of connecting had went by in a flash, the text messages between the two soon becoming countless. The occasional new photos she would send, priceless treasures.
It was all he could do to hold back on asking her to enter the next level, but Rich managed to stay patient until the calendar hit the seventh-day mark.
It was then that he asked to hear her voice. To jump on a call with him.
VI
Two hours, twenty-two minutes and thirty-one seconds.
Their first phone conversation had turned out to flow, to glide. As smooth as a rose petal. A real one. Not one of those overpriced digital frauds.
It had been so nice. Her voice. Their playful banter. Their hint of vulnerability. Their touch of flirtiness.
He knew it would take them to a more intimate level, and indeed it had.
Heather was now on his mind 24/7.
VII
Heather and Rich were now off the dating app, their playground for continuing to build their relationship now on Whatsapp.
The phone calls, voice messages, photos, and texts kept flowing, and by the end of week two Rich was ready to up his game.
He really wanted to ask Heather to start video chatting with him, for this would take the level of virtual intimacy to its highest before finally meeting in person.
But like with the digital roses, he wanted to do a little something special to keep her intoxication with him strong.
Paying special attention to every detail she had shared so far, Rich remembered Heather saying how much she had enjoyed the 90's R&B group, Color Me Badd, back in the day.
So he hopped on Cameo. A website that allows users to hire celebrities to make personalized video greetings for someone special.
Sure enough, the lead singer of C.M.B was on the site, and Rich put in his order.
VIII
A couple of days before Heather's personal greeting was delivered to Rich, his stomach sank when he woke up to find a somewhat unsettling message from her.
Rich,
It's been amazing getting to know you, but sometimes I feel you're not real.
I mean, you say just the right things at just the right times. You're very attentive. Attractive. Sweet.
But sometimes I feel it's too good to be true. What if it's just infatuation on both our parts?
Please tell me I'm wrong. But what if this isn't what we think it is?
IX
No.
He couldn't let her go.
He was all in. And she had said she was too when he had convinced her to go off the dating app and move their correspondence over to Whatsapp.
No.
He wasn't going to lose her.
X
Dear Heather,
Doubt is normal. It's part of being human. And in many cases, including this one, it's good to step back and look at things objectively.
We both long for a serious relationship.
We share interest in the same things.
We get lost in one another's company, our conversations flowing so naturally they could easily become timeless.
Timeless, which is what our companionship is headed for, as long as we keep that trust in one another strong.
Listen to your heart, Heather. Believe it when it says your search for completion is over.
Our paths crossed for a reason.
We've found one another.
XI
‘Holy shit!’
These were the first two words to come out of Heather's mouth when she put voice to recorder in response to her personal video greeting from Color Me Badd's leed singer.
She then went on to express how thoughtful it had been for Rich to do such a thing for her.
How it had brought her to her knees.
How no one had ever done anything like this for her before.
Everything up to this point had put an indelible smile on Rich's lips. And this latest declaration from Heather had now secured such a blessing upon his heart.
So much so that he had started singing a melody to himself throughout the day, and to Heather as an enduring whisper to end their conversations.
The classic song, 'Heaven', by Bryan Adams. Only modifying it to be for his beloved.
Love is all that I need
And I found it here in your heart
It isn't too hard to see
You're my Heather.
But just when everything seemed so perfect...
XII
The dating app Rich and Heather and met on had time stamps, so one could see when a certain member was last active, or even if they were currently online browsing the site.
Rich hadn’t been on since the migration to Whatsapp, feeling no desire to look at other women now that he had Heather in his heart.
She had essentially said the same thing, revealing in one of their phone conversations that she had spoken to her mother about him.
How she had told her mother she had no interest in talking with anyone else.
"Tell him that. Tell him how you feel," her mom had urged.
I already like her, Rich thought. What a great future mother-in-law.
But something was itching at Rich, telling him to hop on the app long enough to see when Heather was last active.
An irritating itch, giving him a wave of anxiety.
Things were going so well. Why ruin it? Ignorance is bliss, is it not?
But if he did try to ignore it, it would continue to eat away at him.
And so the logical conclusion was just to jump on the app long enough to confirm she had been inactive for as long as she claimed, then he'd be able to put it to bed once and for all. With he and Heather sharing a bed in the not-so-distant future.
Such a happy thought propelled him to have a quick look.
Her profile revealed she had last been active not even two hours ago.
Rich's heart sank straight down to the pit of a stomach.
XIII
Heather,
Did you wanna go back to chatting on the app?
I hopped on to delete my account, and saw you were active today.
Were you on to do the
same?
😘
~Rich
He hoped to hell that was the case, but knew in his heart it wasn't. For if she had deleted her account it wouldn't have been up there to see.
The anxiety was starting to give Rich compulsive behavior.
There has to be a logical reason.
There has to be a logical reason.
There has to be a logical reason.
He'd order another Cameo.
He'd spend his whole fucking paycheck on those damn digital roses.
No, he'd send her real ones. A whole fucking truck of 'em.
Waiting for her reply, Rich was a complete mess.
XIV
Rich,
Sorry it has to be so sudden, but I can't talk to you anymore.
Have a wonderful life.
-H
XV
Rich's heart went from boiling in the pit of his stomach to being obliterated in a garbage disposal.
The message had come through the dating app, her betraying words followed by the system's cold words...
Heather has said goodbye.
This basically meant she had blocked him, which he confirmed by checking her profile and finding the one simple word, Unavailable.
He went to Whatsapp.
Blocked.
Email.
Blocked.
Cell phone.
Blocked.
Facebook.
She had forgotten this line of communication.
With trembling fingers, Rich began to compose.
XVI
Heather,
I don't know what I did wrong. I was an open book from the start. I was all in, and you declared the same.
All those countless hours together didn't mean anything to you?!
How can you flip it off as if it were just a simple light switch?
I thought we really had something.
I know we really have something.
You were on the dating app all this time? Continuing your search while playing me?
What kind of person does this?!
You were just keeping me in your back pocket until someone you perceived as better came along, huh?
Is it not exhausting?
To be engaged in such a soul-sucking act?
It's not too late, Heather.
I understand these dating apps can be overwhelming. Confusing.
But I'm a real person, Heather.
The person who cared for your every word.
The person who gave you his heart.
His soul.
My looks might not be GQ. My bank account might not be overflowing. But whoever you're talking to now is not going to be totally committed to you like I am.
They're just gonna fuck you, then hop right back on that dating app.
What we have is real.
I'm real.
Love is all that I need
And I feel it here in your heart
It isn't too hard to see
You're my Heather
~Rich
XVII
The bitch didn't reply.
She blocked him.
It was really over.
Scrolling her account on his backup phone, on his fb account she didn't know existed, he stared at her photos with new eyes.
Heather Stones.
A cold blooded evil bitch.
A dark twisted heart that obviously had deep mental issues.
Something had to be done.
She couldn't just get away with this.
It was illegal for someone to steal something from you.
It was illegal for someone to hit you.
Why wasn't it illegal for someone to damage your heart?
After all, it was more traumatizing.
Traumatizing. That's what she needed to feel.
That's the lesson she needed to learn.
By stoning, Heather Stones?
No, something more fitting.
She had said in her profile, she would never cut and run, had she not?
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